I've been blessed. Greatly blessed in so many ways but most visibly in the friends God has given me. What has been on my mind of late is "How does one 'keep' the friendships that have been so graciously given?" You see, most of my life I've been moving once every 3-4 years (sometimes shorter--8 months) because of my dad's job in the Air Force. This meant I learned to do a better job making friends than 'keeping' them, generally speaking.
Now that I've been in one place going on 9 years, I'm running into a conundrum. There are all these people who know me WHO ARE STILL AROUND. All the other places I've lived, long before I got to know people this well our family moved on. The most interesting thing is, most of the people I'm friends with have been 'in location' for most of their lives. So, as you might imagine, there are occasionally some disconnects. Ships passing in the dark, mixed messages, etc.
College was something of a combination of these two aspects for me. It was a comparatively shorter stay than most of the other places I'd been, but much more intense and open in the way of relationships and friendships. The abundance of like-minded folks was at times overwhelming, and for the first time ever it was as if I had a host of older siblings, which, as an oldest myself, was greatly appreciated. I got along fairly well with most everybody but definitely got to know some folks much better than others, and have tried to maintain those friendships particularly.
One question that came to the fore after leaving college was "How can I possibly prioritize my friendships?" Sounds harsh, I know, but it seems to have happened without my intending it. Those I had the best friendships with I've stayed in the most open communication with. Those who were good friends, but not as close, I tend to be very receptive whenever they contact me but don't initiate much on my end. So how do some people do it? They have a bazillion friends and know each and every one of them intimately. Personally, I have a hard time with the few I keep in touch with.
Is it better to sink a shaft in a couple of places, looking for deep and long-lasting friendships; or is it better to spread yourself 2 miles wide, but only an inch deep, looking to make friends with everyone you meet? And how do you keep from offending people by making friends with them quickly and struggling to keep up with them later? IS there a better option?
Like I said at the outset, I've been blessed far better than I deserve. But in being given so many wonderful gifts, I don't want to squander or abuse them. I'd much prefer to return the blessing in as many ways as I can. However, being human has its limitations--as we're all aware. I have a great deal of respect for all my friends and truly wish them the best. With all their various experiences, I'd be very interested to hear their takes/views/perspectives on friendship maintenance.
(Something of a rambling post, I know, but it's what was on my mind)
